Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
im holly from the hills drunk
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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