My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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