My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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