It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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