so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
