I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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