I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
