At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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