he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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