Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
