My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
