Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I won the penis lottery.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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