God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
