What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
