a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
