I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
