Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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