I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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