just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
