Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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