Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
