So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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