More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize