Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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