Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
