dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We have started to decorate penises.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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