Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize