Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
