Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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