redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
