we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
