So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A+ Viking dick
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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