I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
