These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
