omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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