you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
