there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
