so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
