Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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