i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
