I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
