please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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