i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
