she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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