i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
