Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
