If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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