Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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