He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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