i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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