I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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