U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
