i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
