The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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