so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
