Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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