In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
