So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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