Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize