I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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