I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I want is dick and wine.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
