My first STD was from a foam party
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
